Witty Blog Title: Henry and Regina <3
Omg, I have never seen Regina being so sweet and cute, and then there was Henry being a dick to her. UGH. Sometimes that kid really pisses me off.
Seriously, a THANK YOU would have been nice.
He was such a little shit to her. Does he have to act…
Henry, Henry, Henry. Clearly you need to sign up for Getting What You Want From Your Parents 101.
I know you’re only 10, but you should know by now that the best way to get your parent to agree to let you do something they ordinarily wouldn’t is to soften them up first.
See, you have to understand that most parents want their children to love and appreciate them. Use this weakness to your advantage.
Rule #1: Watch your mouth. To stay on your parents’ good side, keep backtalk and complaining to a minimum. This doesn’t mean you have to get a complete personality transplant (that will raise their suspicions about your motives). But you could say less of the things you know they don’t like to hear. You might also want to tone down on the eye-rolling and sucking your teeth. They’ll be so glad that you avoid behaviors they hate they they won’t even know that you’re setting them up.
Rule #2: Augment your lack of attitude problems with small acts of kindness. Again, don’t go overboard. This will make them wonder what’s up. But do a bit more than you normally would. For example: do chores/homework/whatever without them telling you to. Smart parents might notice that it’s a bit odd, but they’ll be so glad not to have to bother that they’ll quickly dismiss this as you being good, thus keeping you under their radar.
Rule #3: If you get a good grade on a big test, interim report, or report card, make sure they know about it. Bonus points if you do better in a subject that’s usually hard for you. This is actually easier for you if you normally make OK or bad grades, so any kind of improvement is really noticeable. If you’re a straight A student, this is probably one of the things your parents like about you, so keep up the good work.
Rule #4: Time your request properly. Asking for stuff on your birthday or during the winter holidays are always a good idea. No matter how much they say otherwise, your parents are obligated to do something nice for you on such occasions.
Rule #5: Time and money are things parents never have enough of. So if what you’re going to ask them can give them more of either, let them know. But you gotta be subtle. Don’t say things like, “Hanging out with Emma is a lot cheaper than therapy, isn’t it?” Be more like, “And, y’know, while I’m out with Emma, I’m sure there’s some stuff you’d like to do too, right?” They will believe that you are being mature and considerate. Assist them in this delusion.
Bonus tip: When she gives you what you want say, “Thank you, Mom” and really play up how happy you are and how wonderful she is for doing what she did. No matter how evil she normally is, this will work.
And if you really wanna knock it out of the park, tell her, “I love you.”
(She might start getting more suspicious than usual when you do this. Just explain it as reading a story in the book about someone who lost their parents and say something like, “And then I thought about what would it would be like if something happened to you” or some other sweet kid nonsense.)
Follow these tips, and it’ll be so easy to get what you want that you’d be tempted to feel sorry for your mom and drop the Good Kid act. Don’t make this mistake. Keep it up and set it up for the next thing.
(via captain-jhark)
