"Bitch, who asked you?"


Posts tagged with "Regina Mills"



my head canon is that when Regina was 17 and in love with Daniel, she thought she would run away with him one day and they’d live in a little cottage in the woods by the river and he would work in people’s stables, and she would be a seamstress, and they would have babies and pick flowers barefoot, and basically it’s my own head canons that make me weep.

They’d keep chickens, and just the one horse they could afford to feed and stall.

(But one was enough, with Daniel sitting sturdy and warm behind her, and they could ride far and free, together under an endless sky.)

And their house would be tiny, but full of laughter and warmth and love, because damn it all if Regina didn’t want a house FILLED with kids who she could cherish and protect the way her parents never did. They’d bring her wild apples, her favorite.

And maybe, far, far away, there was a king named Leopold, and he had nothing to do with Regina, in any way shape or form, ever.

You know she has this written down in her diary.

"…then Daniel and I are going to get married and she’s not invited! We’re going to buy a cute little cottage in the country and raise horses and teach people how to ride. And we’re going to have ten kids, and they can wear what they want and marry who they want and have any kind of work they want and Mother will never get to see them ever! And I’m going to talk to them about their feelings and ask them about their dreams and be the exact opposite of Mother in every way.”

Head canon: Regina may have chosen to reconcile with Snow, but that doesn’t mean she’s gonna eat her bland-ass food.

This is the same woman who, for every recipe, says, “Just a little salt and pepper. I don’t want it too spicy.”

Regina will never forgive Snow for inflicting that “curry” on her taste buds.

Regina gets Snow back, though, when she adds the juice of several habaneros to the vegetarian chili she made for the World Cup party they held at her mansion. Snow’s reaction was priceless, and Henry managed to capture the moment on his phone for posterity.




Regina Mills is a giant nerd who gets excited by tending plants and owns at least one chemistry set and the next time she calls Belle a bookworm these facts need to be thrown right back at her.

"Blah blah blah bookworm blah."

"Bookworm again? You know, that’s funny coming from the woman who plays with a chemistry set."

"It’s not a chemistry set. It’s a magical laboratory that was specifically created in order to carefully observe and create delicate magical potions and artifacts."



It’s magic weed, which she uses to make brownies.

(Source: bekksrich)

Head canon (ish): Regina’s biological father is not Henry Sr. but his oldest brother Alejandro.

Alejandro is the strongest, smartest, and most handsome of King Xavier’s sons, and he knows it. Though he has married a suitable bride to carry the royal bloodline, it’s an open secret that he’s had several children with other women—all strong, smart, and beautiful just like him.

His father looks down on Cora for being common, but Alejandro likes her for her spirit and her fire. Had he not already been wed, he would have married Cora himself. That said, he truly believes that Cora would be good for his youngest brother Enrique because such a clever, ambitious woman could help him realize his potential because gods know Enrique needs to get out of the shadows of his father and older brothers. Yet, he can’t ignore or resist the chemistry between himself and Cora.

So, when Cora gives birth to a baby girl seven months after her marriage to Enrique, only a few whisper questions about the child’s paternity (and well out of earshot of the royal family). If Enrique has those questions, he never voices them. He and Alejandro spoil Regina rotten despite Cora’s protests that it will only make her unruly as she grows older. Xavier chides Alejandro for doting on Cora’s daughter instead of making his own sons.

When Cora is revealed to have been behind an assassination attempt against one of Enrique’s older brothers, Xavier is ready to execute both Cora and little Regina (who was 4 years old at the time), but Alejandro convinces him to let them live out the rest of their lives in exile.

Over the years, Enrique receives letters and gifts for Regina from her “uncle” Alejandro, but after Regina is wed to Leopold, they lose touch.

"But in medieval times—" SHUT THE FUCK UP!



How many times Regina gotta say, “I don’t want this”?

How many times she gotta try to run away?

How many veiled suicide attempts does it take?

At what point do we get to say that there is something distinctly not kosher about her marriage to King Leopold?

yeah well if that’s the argument then next time people bitch about how many people that were killed under her reign - IN medieval times that’s what they did. Just look back on real life history


And she’s a week-old kitten compared some some of the rulers, generals, and warriors in our world.

Onyx Queen Masterpost: Season 2


For the first masterpost, go here. This continues where “Letter,” “Hero,” and “Hell" left off.

This masterpost is for the new “season” or what have you of Onyx Queen. These will also be grouped by theme as the “series” progresses.

New ones will be in bold.

The return of Regina Mills

  1. Dreams
  2. Monster
  3. D.O.A.
  4. Train
  5. Note
  6. Master
  7. Yuda
  8. Darkness
  9. Human
  10. Eyes
  11. Drawing
  12. Fire
  13. Poem
  14. Captive
  15. Bike
  16. Dormant
  17. Drive
  18. Storm
  19. Rebirth

What has Kiki been up to?

  1. Absence
  2. Diary
  3. Friend
  4. Cake
  5. Horses
  6. Writing
  7. Novel
  8. Face
  9. Photo
  10. Mirrors

New Onyx Queen in bold!

Head canon: The book is real and includes all the shit that happens on the show.

The “real” Storybrooke and many of its inhabitants* do bear a striking resemblance to the actors who portray them on Once Upon A TIme, but this is because, instead of simply jumping from one parallel world to another, the Dark Curse took the Enchanted Forest out of the story and into the “real” world. Thus, the rules of the Enchanted Forest no longer apply. Thus, good does not always win and no one is guaranteed a happy ending. Whether this is better or worse depends on the individual and their circumstances.

That town is indeed run by a mayor named Regina who enjoys baking, gardening, fashion, and horseback riding, and she does look like Lana Parrilla’s evil twin, but she can’t be the Evil Queen because the Evil Queen is just a character in a story…


*Some of them may or may not exist. Regina, Snow, Rumpelstiltskin, Maleficent, Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, Red Riding Hood, Rapunzel, and other “authentic” fairy tale characters definitely exist (although some of them may not resemble the actors who play them on the show). Emma, Henry, Neal, Hook, Robin Hood, Jefferson, etc. (read: anything based in Oz, Neverland, or non-fairytale sources) probably don’t (YMMV). There may be others who do exist but have not been on the show (Bluebeard, the Pied Piper, the Twelve Dancing Princesses, etc.)

Wu Tang Clan, “Protect Ya Neck”

(For avoiding being dinglehoppered)

(Untitled work in progress)

They can lock me up, but I know I’m not crazy.

I know what they’re saying about me all over TV and the internet. Deranged Fan Tries To Murder TV Star. Evil Queen Nearly Slain By Crazed Stalker. Lana Parrilla, “Still Here For The Fans” After Attack by Obsessed Fan.

Whatever. I know what happened to me, and I had a damn good reason to do what I did. Call me crazy; call me psycho. I don’t care. I never wanted to hurt anyone, but I did what I had to do. If you went through what I went through, you would’ve done the same thing.

Regina as a horror-type character is so cool to read. I love the Abby pov fics

Thanks! For some reason, I am pretty good and bringing the horror.

I have an idea about what all that means, but I can’t spoil it just yet, and I have to work it in somehow.

The gen fic that I write that I like tends to go in that direction. See:

"Patient Number Twelve:*: http://eshusplayground.tumblr.com/post/22742442426

I think you recognize “Ganconer”: http://eshusplayground.tumblr.com/post/55604844499

And then there’s “Adam”: http://eshusplayground.tumblr.com/post/31184989448

and “La Hechicera” (imagine Regina ditching Storybrooke and setting up in the Puerto Rico): http://eshusplayground.tumblr.com/post/25974561595

*This one is actually based on a fairy tale! Bet you can’t guess which one!

Edit: I might want to write more horror fic about Regina

Onyx Queen: Mirrors

Abby avoids mirrors as much as she can these days.

It starts after Kiki showed her the picture, and all the missing pieces from her dreams—

but they weren’t dreams, were they?

—fall into place.

It’s ridiculous, of course. Kiki’s ex is the Evil Queen from that TV show Once Upon A Time? Get the fuck outta here.

But still, it never hurts to check. A Google search shows that Lana Parrilla has been happily married for some years now and lives in Vancouver when she’s not on set. But the picture was taken at Prospect Park. Was Kiki Lana Parrilla’s little piece on the side? That can explain why Kiki is always so tight-lipped about their relationship and the reasons for the break-up and why “Regina” had to go away. Typical closeted celebrity bullshit. Kiki deserves so much more than that. When Abby sees her again, she’s going to tell her so.

That plan grinds to a halt when she’s brushing her teeth and sees Regina—

not Regina, the Evil Queen

—standing behind her in the mirror, grinning like a crocodile and making her hand into a claw. Abby flinches, almost gagging on her toothbrush. She whips around, and some of the things on her sink get knocked to the floor.

There is only the sound of water faucet gushing water into the sink.

Abby turns to the mirror again, sees the toothbrush dangling from the corner of her mouth. She carefully avoids looking at the mirror as she rinses away the toothpaste.

Once upon a time, a little girl named Abby played Bloody Mary with her friends Rachel and Emily. Emily had nightmares about it for weeks. Even years later, she couldn’t be in a room with a mirror and have the lights out or the door closed.

Abby reads some Gargoyles fanfic to help her get to sleep. She dreams of dark tunnels and hundreds of beating hearts and mad, guttural cackling.

When she awakens, she damn near falls out of the bed.

Atop her beside table gleams a bright, shiny apple red as blood.

Head canon: “Death Becomes Her” is one of Regina’s favorite movies.

She may or may not have also purchased “She-Devil” on DVD. It was a 2-for-1 deal on a couple of Meryl Streep’s less well-known films.

Carl Carlton, “She’s A Bad Mama Jama”

Anthony Hamilton & Elayna Boynton, “Freedom”

The Supremes, “You Keep Me Hangin’ On”